7.35pm: We’re a little bit nervous, are you nervous? Helllooooo...... is there anybody out there??
7.45pm: Ah come on get on with it…. BIG BAND week here we come!!
7.46pm: God we love the opening music! DRAMAAAAAAAA!!!
7.50pm: Ha ha Kate good one Simon! Ah man here comes the sob story.
7.52pm: Zzzzzzzzzz! We almost feel sorry for him, he's a nice guy but he's got no chance. NEXT.......
7.55pm: Didn't Dannii say she'd given up botox? Do her nostrils annoy anyone else?? Hang on is Scott wearing the same suit as Dermot?? That's not a good look.
8.00pm: All we can think is Ricky Gervais... ha ha how bored does Simon look. What do you reckon he's thinking right now?
8.02pm: Cheryl's dress is smokin', shame about the hair!
8.05pm: Who do you think will sing My Way? Austin? Laura? It's got to be one of them right? We're really looking forward to seeing the girls outfits the boys suits are boring.
8.09pm: Aw, don't you just want to pick Cheryl up and put her in your pocket?!
8.11pm: WOAHHHH!!! Not feeling the blanket at the beginning.... Okay, nice dress, bad makeup, good voice.
8.18pm:
We've got a bad feeling about this. A twelve-year-old singing swing..... Hmmmmm!! Uh-oh, he's soooooooooo flat! This is painful.
8.21pm:
Were the judges watching the same thing as us? He was terrible! Really, really terrible.
8.28pm:
Aw, we're liking mummy Lorenzo!! Hopefully they'll get Ruth's number right this week eh. Wow, she looks good, we almost didn't recognise her, don't reckon she'll be in the bottom this week. Got a sneaky feeling Eoghan (is that how you spell it?) might be....
8.35pm:
Oh, we want Diana! WE WANT DIANA!!!
8.37pm:
Get that hat off now! Good voice, no X Factor though. Sorry love, next..........
8.46pm:
Come on Austin show them how it's done........The waistcoat really accentuates the top half of his body, not good, makes him look odd and really strangely out of proportion. At least he can sing though. Damn we can’t stop looking at his iddy bitty legs now.
8.53pm:
The judges are being super nice tonight we need to see some nastiness, come on Simon rip JLS to pieces we're getting bored.
8.55pm:
Are we supposed to vote for JLS because his mum's sick? FFS Enough of the sob stories!
9.00pm:
He likes his red, he likes his yellow, he likes his green and I like my blue, wow that's some deep sh*t.
9.08pm: Hallelujah this is the performance we've been waiting for..... Erm, what is that on her head? Can't believe she's only 17.
9.12pm: Erugh we’re not even going to watch this one! Time to open another bottle of wine. Where’s that mute button?
21.20pm: Is that it? That went quickly, so who are you voting to keep? Who do you want out? We're predicting Scott and Danny for the bottom, maybe Eoghan but it's got to be two of those three. What do you reckon? DISCUSS.
22.12pm: Here we go again......
22.15pm: The man that does those opening credits has the most amazing voice! Wonder what he looks like, bet he’s old and wrinkly and looks nothing like you’d expect. Anyway back to the job in hand, who’s going to get the boot? We’re hoping for tears and tantrums.
22.19pm: Oh this bits for charity so we can't sl*g it off, but......... erm, are they all miming?? WTF?! OMG They are, they are totally miming!!!!! Hang on somebody was missing... where's Daniel? Did we miss him? He wasn't there right?
22.29pm: Ooooo we like this bit.... Eoghan WTF?! There goes our theory..... Oh FFS who keeps voting for Rachel!!!????!!!!!
22.32pm: Scott and Daniel, what did we say? WHAT DID WE SAY?? Who do you want to go?
22.42pm: Yikes, Scott's terrible.
22.45pm: Is Daniel worse? We’re cringing. Can we get rid of both please? Did Dermot just say 'show some sensitivity please?' HA!
22.47pm: Did that just happen? Yes Scott's a gonna but we're not talking about that, we're talking about Louis. He was crying right?
22.52pm: So that's it, it's been fun people sionara. Feel free to hang around and finish your drinks just keep the noise down and make sure you shut the door on your way out.....